It seems you have me at a disadvantage.
My thoughts are non-stop tidal waves
eroding every inch of me that managed to escape your
hurricane that you tossed right through me. The apologies
were never enough, I was feeding on them clinging to them,
reasons listed one by one to never have to say goodbye. But
the silence sharpens its knife and I can’t help but linger in the
doorway waiting for some kind of feeling to come of these
years spent carelessly leaving the world in our dust, driving
west straight into the sunset, we couldn’t help but move forward
even though the mighty sun was warning us blind, teaching us
the symptoms of mortality. We kept our eyes squinted, foot pressed
against the gas pedal, addicted to the way our hearts became entirely
too weightless at the thought of losing control.
So I tell myself it doesn’t matter.
So I tell myself if you’re raw you will spoil if you are
vulnerable you will break. Not a day goes by that I take
my own advice not a day goes by when I don’t hear your
voice in the back of my head backlighting memories making
shadows in my mind. The lighting is off balance skewed by
your presence. How do I get you out of my head? How do I
set myself on fire without drowning in ashes of memories
lined up to haunt ghosts drifting through the veins robbing my
lungs of oxygen replacing the bone marrow with venom interrupting
my heart’s burdened beating to spit in the face of my dedication.
If you are raw you will spoil if you are
vulnerable you will rot.
You drunk dialed me again and I can’t help but wonder why I’m always
on the tip of your mind but never the tip of your iceberg heart sinking
any ship attempting to set sail in your ocean. You’ll drown anyone that
tried to keep your head above water. You were meant for the sea to be
miles below sea level to be undiscovered where mystery can breed but
you made the mistake of taking me down with you and my words won’t
ever forget.
Let go of these sunken memories.
Let go of the ashes lying at the bottom of the ocean.
Keep your head above water, there’s nothing left but rubble
keep your head above water, the ship is nothing but memories,
sand broken down pieces never to be made whole, resting in
international graveyards.
Put these bones to rest.
The only ghost haunting me is you.


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