diet soda

my head complains again
i like to pretend
i’m some hemmingway
hank moody
bukowski
any other
pretentious reference
i can squeeze in

smoking and
coping
moping

we all know better
than the rest of these
ants vomiting nonsense
chemicals in each others’
mouths right?

but my worst vice is
a nice two-liter bottle of
diet soda
a day

and besides the shits
and the occasional
insomnia from it
i think i’m sitting pretty
all things considered
a nice b.s.
in a stem field
a healthy check
obama patting
my back

no shotgun hole
in my future head
go to bed
your writing makes no sense
stick to code
forget words

you’ll never sky dive
scuba dive
drive more than twenty-five
miles per hour over the speed limit.

you budgeted the calories
for the glass of bourbon
that inspired this tripe
you’re gonna be fine

just do me a favor and
don’t quit your day job
all right?

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