ad nauseam (the self-awareness parade)

“i don’t sleep well these days”
i say
eyes open at 6am
blaming the blinds
that let in too much light
too much sound
too much frozen air

i like blaming the blinds
when i’m too caffeinated to sleep
when i waste the
darkness indulging in
video game fantasies
or tv
or porn
or what does it matter (i just need something on a screen to let me pretend i have a huge cock without actually having one before my shitty blinds light up my room and i look down and the fantasy’s over)

when i’m too caffeinated to sleep,
i like writing poems about how self-aware i am
and i organize a parade in honor of my vast intelligence (which I spelled wrong the first time)
then it’s 6am again
and I’m too caffeinated to sleep again
and i’ll blame the blinds again
but i’ll never replace them

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